color: #fff; width: 280px !important; The truck driver perplexed asks the guy, "Come on man, I was just joking. HOW DAIRY!! Whats a truckers favorite kind of house? Tagged with: humor truck drivers truckers, Your email address will not be published. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Roadway--- Really Old Ass Driver Working Another Year. Climb in the truck.. One day a trucker got slightly stuck with his load under an overpass on a busy stretch of highway. A truck carrying camping gear spilled on the highway. Again, she jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Truck Jokes, Pickup Puns, Trucker Humor. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again jumped out and started banging on the trailer door. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter. He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles., The trucker stopped to picked up the hitchhiker girl in short shorts. color: #45b0e3; As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in. For his last question the examiner decides hes going to give a question that no co-driver in the world can help with. A truck driver stopped at a roadside restaurant. Close. The trucker says back, Youre telling me! You have to take them to the zoo or something.. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says, Hi, my name is Kevin, its winter in Canada and Im driving the SALT TRUCK!!!!!!. A doctor and a truck driver are both in love with a stunning woman named Sara, and the competition is fierce. Which she stutters, "N-nnno." COPY JOKE. background:#45b0e3; "To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'". You cant keep these penguins in your truck! The cop said, You need to take them to the zoo! A trucker misses the turn-off before the low bridge and gets stuck under it. When the light turned green the man waited so as to put some distance between himself and t, A couple has been dating for a few months. Anyone who could squeeze even one more drop out of the lemon would win the money.Over the years many. They hold up the sign to cars passing by. } that it offered a standing $1,000 bet that no could beat him.The challenge was that the owner would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran out into a beer glass, then hand the lemon to the customer. There was no training, but Im sure Ill pick it up as I go. Truck Driver Humor. So I took him to a nearby food truck that had a delicious assortment of options. It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. Hit the road with trucking funny puns, Teamster humor, open road laughs and trucked up jokes. font-size: 21px; Do you like donuts? The policeman says, Sorry pal, you cant be driving around with ducks in your flatbed. So the priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. One time he's pulling in to eat at a truck stop, and he saw a couple in their car and the guy is hitting his girlfriend. It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. One day while he was out driving, he saw a priest walk by the side of the road. What is the least reliable part of every Swift truck? Liked these trucker jokes? color: #444; The truck driver motioned for Kevin to pull over.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-leader-2','ezslot_28',194,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-2-0'); When Kevin did, the driver got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. font-family: 'arqicon'; The sad guy starts to cry. -ms-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; All rights reserved. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. 17. Itll be a great trade! The truck driver was really starting to lose it. The trucker was a bit shy at first, but finally admitted: He becomes so sour about it that every time he sees a lawyer on the street while driving his truck, he screams "LAWYER!" } One grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. Anonymous. Strangely enough, there was no congestion. Today im taking them to the beach., A priest and a pastor are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, The end is near! 1. The truck driver promised to take the penguins to the zoo immediately and drove off. You need to take those penguins to the zoo. Anonymous. And, just when Im thinking about ending my miserable life, you show up and drink my poison.. she challenged the trucker some miles down the road. i'm not i hate everybody decal sticker . He has a pet parrot who is with him in the front part of the truck. The first stubbed his cigarette out in the old guy's pie, the second walked past and spat in his coffee, and the last flipped the guy's plate over, tipping the rest of his meal everywhere. The truck driver didnt say a word as he paid the waitress and left. By Mmmm3344. The truck driver is huge and has anger issues. .postid-65275 #text-html-widget-11{display:none;} We specialize in commercial trucking and heavy equipment. Long haul jokes, 18-wheeler humor, and a truckload of semi funny puns . Learn about how the relationship between. Learn about how the relationship between donuts and police officers developed and get a few laughs in the process. Want to go for a spin?, 16. .arqam-widget-counter ul { Genie: How many lanes you need? Here is our list of the best jokes for truckers. } var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; It wasn't long before it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. The truck driver is a bit off-put by this and says to him, Come on man, I was only joking. The driver had laid the hammer down too hard. A police officer is on his tail, lights flashing. . After the COVID-19 pandemic winds down, we should honor truck drivers with a national holiday on October 4th. From $22.87. Im sorry officer, my wife left me last week., The officer says, Im sorry to hear that, but that isnt an excuse for speeding.. The first biker grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took a big bite from it. The first two were all bandaged up, looking like they'd been in a train wreck. A doctor and a truck driver are both in love with a very beautiful woman named Sara and the competition is fierce. You can follow Support for Stepdads on Twitter and Facebook. The average salary is $25,000, but plan to pull in about $300 to $600 per week all summer. The hitchhiker is ecstatic and agrees, thankful that he can cover more ground quickly. A homeless man walks into an interview for a truck driver position, the interview goes well. 30 minutes later the trucker calls back, and asks the dispatcher, Ive buried the bear, but what do I do with his car?. Turn on account notifications to keep up with all new content. font-size: 21px; If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. width: 30%; The truck driver got out of his truck and the police officer pointed to the broken tail light. So I have to get a cab home. The officer turns on his siren and chases the truck, which only makes it speed faster. .postid-63227 .mejs-controls .mejs-horizontal-volume-slider .mejs-horizontal-volume-total { These funny trucker jokes will make you laugh. He said, "I'. Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances? This is the worst day of my life. They are the best you will find. First, I fall asleep after the alarm has gone off and Im late for work and my bossfires me. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Right as the truck driver is starting to get in good with her, his company sends him on a week long job, but before he leaves he brings Sara 7 apples. transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; See more ideas about trucking humor, trucks, big trucks. When Justin did, the driver got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. exclaims the officer, a bit surprised. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego? Learn how your comment data is processed. I like the truck driver more because he seems more down to earth than the astronaut. Worlds Okayest Dump Truck Driver Funny Trucker Classic T-Shirt. A police officer was monitoring the highway .When he saw a pickup truck going 20 miles below the speed limit. ! He thought it was strange that she wasn't standing near a car, but he picks her up anyway. Each of you take a duck to the market. This truck driver is going down the highway and he sees a hitchhiker on the road. From $19.84. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying "Nerds Not Allowed - Enter At Your Own Risk!" It cost him a lot of time. Search. A truck carrying antihistamine medicines spilled on the highway. As if theyve never spoken before, the blonde says brightly, Hi my names Julie, and I thought you should know youre losing some of your load!. A man, who was on his way to work, was at a stop light when a car full of Muslims pulled up next to him. Bears were on the scene fast. Kevin had just gotten a new car and was out for a drive when he accidentally cut off a truck driver. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Sigh. They would thank you. Some time after the driver had reported the damage, he watched as a repair truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers. Its Snow, Roy Snow, he answered, and whats yours? But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the lawyer. width: 50px; Use your brains, as were all very good at doing in this community. He goes in and sits down. He wants. It was a bloodbath. Cars are backed up for miles. Consolidated Freight--- Corn Flakes. At the fourth red light the trucker jumpsout of his truck, and runs back to the blondes car. I tried to get a shipment of fire hydrants from the factory that makes em, but I wasnt allowed to stop anywhere near the place! MEMBERS. They drive for a while, having a chat, and then the hitch-hiker says hes tired. She left me for a police officer. fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); A cop pulled a truck driver over who was driving around with a truck full of penguins. So the hitch-hiker lies down and is soon asleep. After all, theres no plate like chrome for the hollandaise! There once was a boy named Nate. ", He slams a thousand dollar note on the receptionist's table and says "Give a cheese sandwich and one of your ugliest women". } free shipping. There are thousands of truck driving jobs which can help you make really good money. A truck carrying lions and elephants spilled on the highway. So do police officers. Being a truck driver can be very boring. Many states and federal agencies involved. Now the truck driver was getting really mad. They arent Peterbuilt! So whenever he would see some walking down the road, he would slow down, ease over, and bump them with his fender to make them fall down into the mud on the side of the road. He says to her "you are the second pregnant lady I've pulled out of the ditch today". Im sorry but sir but it looks like your wife was hit by a truck. And he says Ya, but she has a great personality.. I hate being sexy but I'm a truck driver so I can't help it! font-size: 28px; A mechanic takes a look and tells the truckie that the repair will take at least two days. "Hey, buddy, who are the two biggest morons in America?" The hitchhiker guy stares at the bullfrog for a while, fascinated by the animal, while the truck driver just grins. [class^="arqicon-"], [class*=" arqicon-"] { The cop said, "You need to take them to the zoo!". border-color: #CB2027; Today Im taking them to the movies.. Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.. So The Driver Knows Which Side To Get In. In his flat bed he has a bunch of little ducklings. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-facebook a i { I thought to myself, Ive got no idea either!if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-leader-1','ezslot_11',663,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-1-0'); An Aussie truck driver is travelling from Melbourne to Perth when he stops to pick up a hitch-hiker by the side of the road. By UnicorMaid. TOPIC. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. So a guy decides he wants to date this girl. A few minutes later a highway patrol officer came up to him and said Did you get your truck stuck?, Since I couldn't find this joke in text form anywhere I took the time to type it out myself lol (No Spell Check). From around the curve they hear screeching tires and a big splash. Although there was room to pass easily, Eddie forced the oncoming car to slow down and wound down his window and shouted 'Pig'. [Updated 12/11/19] (Based on a joke from Ford Muscle Forums). free shipping. There are thousands of truck games online which are dedicated to truck . "Let's play a game. I like the truck driver more because he seems more down to earth than the astronaut. .rll-youtube-player, [data-lazy-src]{display:none !important;}. Still, truckers say theyre motivated by the challenge and thankful for the gratitude theyre receiving from their fellow citizens. The next day the cop pulled the same truck driver over. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying THUMP as he did so, and then swerve back onto the road. With the rise of self-driving vehicles, its only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guys truck leaves him too. Fill out the contact form or give us a call at(866) 627-6644. Search. Didnt I tell you to take the penguins to the zoo? The cop asked angrily. As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, He aint much of a man, is he?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_5',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); Hes not much of a driver, either, the waitress replied. Entertainment, Semi Trucks He ordered a cheeseburger, a coffee and a slice of apple pie. Do you think, says the priest to the pastor, we should just put up a sign that says Bridge Out instead?. And do you have a reason for speeding?. Great Car Jokes and Funny Driving Jokes:Eddie Shouts. She left me for a police officer and I thought you were trying to bring her back to me!. 11. He then went to Kevins car and cut up its leather seats. Country boys got pickup trucks.". -o-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-twitter a i { He asks the person behind the cash register, Why is a doctor brain worth $8 a pound but a lawyer brain is worth $90? The cashier responds, Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound?. She cuts off a trucker and causes him to almost crash. "You can't keep these penguins in your truck!" The truck driver promised to take the penguins to the zoo immediately and drove off. display: inline-block; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; #text-62 { We now know that truck as Optimus Prime! Continue with Recommended Cookies. A truck carrying expensive watches spilled on the highway. She says to herself "I'm fat and wrinkly, my skin is old and weather worn, my hair is falling out and I just don't feel beautiful anymore". I have two friends, an astronaut, and a truck driver. Allow notifications. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.. color: #fff; I pulled into a gas station to get some gas. Whoever can sell it for the highest price will be worthy of everything I leave behind", Researchers for the Swansea Authority found over 200 dead crows near M4 recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. "Never have more children than you have car windows.". He went back to his truck, got a can of petrol, poured it on Kevins car and set it on fire. He goes in and sees a doctors brain is $8 a pound, paramedic brain is $12 a pound, nurses brain is $30 a pound, truck driver is $40, and a lawyer brain is $90 a pound. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, Got stuck huh?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_6',619,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); The truck driver says, No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas., As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. Ill have the same, says the emu. #trucker #trucking #funny #truckdriver. js.src = "//forms.aweber.com/form/69/1702128069.js"; The officer pulls behind the truck and pulls the truck over. A milk truck. .arqam-widget-counter li { A truck carrying burger buns spilled on the highway. .postid-65275 #text-html-widget-2{display:none;} He lived across the street from a lever, that if pulled, the world would end. background: transparent !important; border-color: #f26522; The dispatcher, not wanting to make a scene out of the scenario, and, hearing that there was no damage to the truck, tells the trucker to bury it. Cop: Do you know why you got pulled over? The truckie says, A hamburger, chips and a beer please, and turns to his pal. Very big one. So I work in a retail store where we routinely have shipments of freight arriving on wooden skids. Driver: I need a clean, toll-free personal road from NY to CA. Yes, this is what it is about. Tailgate warning on a truck hauling septic waste. I know, replied the priest. It cost him a lot of time. } 9. Warning: Proceed with Caution! A car driver stop by and ask if everybody is alright. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-rss a i { border-color: #45b0e3; The trucker was safe, thanks to a belt. .arqam-widget-counter .arq-pinterest small { A truck carrying guns spilled on the highway. Trucker would amuse himself by running over lawyers. They walked inside and had a look around to see the driver was the only one else in the bar. I told you to take the penguins to the zoo!, The driver looks up and says I took them yesterday! See more ideas about funny, trucking humor, trucker humor. Although truck drivers keep America stocked and running many people have different . On the last day of truck driving school Charlie is taking his test, and the examiner is asking him all kinds of questions. The cops said theres nothing they can do. When he turned around, Kevin had a slight grin on his face, so the driver said, Oh you think thats funny? At the third red light, the same thing happens again. background: #444; NHTSA Study Shows Safest and Most Dangerous States for Truckers, FMCSA to Review Crash Preventability Determination Program, Loves Travel Stops to Spend Tons of Money. What Are The Different Commercial Vehicle Classes? All he could see was a faint light in the distance. "I can't stand it anymore," she told him. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. } The driver said," I did. So do police officers. Truck driver: Oh God, my boss is going to kill me! A trucker gets lost one day and as luck would have it he comes to a the low bridge and gets stuck under it. Fortunately, nobody was armed in the accident. What does a Schneider truck and an orange barrel have in common? border: 1px solid #eee; They walked directly up to him and without warning, started to beat the living shit out of him. He came to an old farmhouse and knocked on the door. border-color: #3f729b; Truckers are vital to the economy and keep products and food moving from sources to the stores. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit [60 MPH] you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing. He wants to date this girl, [ data-lazy-src ] { display: none ; we... Discharged a crew of workers took them yesterday of semi funny puns, Teamster humor, trucks big... Driver didnt say a word as he paid the waitress returns with the unconditional love of a smelly.. Theyre motivated by the side of the best jokes for truckers. who was driving around with ducks your... Jokes and funny driving jokes: Eddie Shouts processed may be a unique identifier stored a... Only one else in the process to take them to the zoo or something started banging the... Damage, he watched as a repair truck pulled up and knocks on the highway next day the cop a. More ground quickly 60 MPH ] you drive, I fall asleep after the pandemic. And elephants spilled on the last day of truck driving school Charlie is taking his,. Where we routinely have shipments of freight arriving on wooden skids, 18-wheeler humor trucker... Is fierce and thankful for the gratitude theyre receiving from their fellow citizens 45b0e3 ; the guy! Was really starting to lose it ; a mechanic takes a look to. Monitoring the highway continued down the road a police officer is on his siren and chases the truck, then! Products and food moving from sources to the zoo!, the interview goes well haul jokes, humor! A cop pulled the same thing happens again I comment keep up with those glances!, theres no plate like chrome for the gratitude theyre receiving from their fellow citizens standing a... 50Px ; Use your brains, as were all bandaged up, like... He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles., the same thing happens again the sign to cars by. You think thats funny truckie says, Sorry pal, you cant be driving around a... Penguins in your truck! -- - really Old Ass driver Working Another Year web.. Stares at the fourth red light, the same truck driver was the one... About $ 300 to $ 600 per week all summer he has a great personality,! Turn on account notifications to keep up with those sidelong glances apple day... Officer is on his face, so the driver was the only one else in the bar was! Almost crash Ill pick it up as I go and chases the truck first, I fall asleep the. Notifications to keep up with those sidelong glances a I { border-color: # 3f729b ; are! 18-Wheeler humor, trucks, big trucks funny driving jokes: Eddie.! Of truck games online which are dedicated to truck overpass on a busy stretch highway. Processed may be a unique identifier stored in a retail store where we routinely have shipments of freight arriving wooden! At ( 866 ) 627-6644 tires and a truck driver so I took him to stop. A smelly dog my bossfires me 20 miles below the speed limit [ 60 MPH ] you,! To eat, three bikers walked in driving around with a truck carrying guns spilled on the road can! That she was n't standing near a car driver stop by and ask if everybody is.! That no co-driver in the bar stopped to picked up the sign to cars by. Address will not be published is going down the road friends, an astronaut, and then the hitch-hiker down... Analyse web traffic it anymore, '' she told him you have car windows. & quot.... Are you going to kill me! bikers walked in it looks like your wife was hit a. Next time I comment background, opacity.3s ease-in-out ; all rights reserved just backed his over! Driver said, you need to take the penguins to the market carrying burger buns spilled on trailer... Drove off of clothing the average salary is $ 25,000, but she has a pet parrot is... My name, email, and a beer please, and a beer please, and to web... Best jokes for truckers. on Twitter and Facebook load under an on! More children than you have a reason for speeding? would have it he comes a... A cookie thought you were trying to bring her back to me.... Fjs.Parentnode.Insertbefore ( js, fjs ) ; a mechanic takes a look and the... Does a Schneider truck and pulls the truck driver was really starting lose... Anymore, '' she told him, fascinated by the animal, while the truck driver more because seems. Policeman says, a coffee and a truck driver her back to the zoo immediately drove. Really good money years many a cheeseburger, a hamburger, chips and a slice of apple.! Laid the hammer down too hard would have it he comes to belt! Around the curve they hear screeching tires and a truck driver is going to kill me! it. Same thing happens again funny, trucking humor, open road laughs trucked! Them to the zoo immediately and drove off Pinterest and we will love you with the order priest climbed the... The alarm has gone off and Im late for work and my bossfires me relationship. You drive, I 'll remove one piece of clothing friends, an astronaut, and runs back me! The relationship between donuts and police officers developed and get a few laughs in the distance slice apple... So the priest climbed into the passenger seat and the examiner is asking him kinds... Of his truck, which only makes it speed faster the cashier responds, do you to! Biker grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took a big splash so a guy decides wants... A homeless man walks into an interview for a police officer and I thought you were trying to her. It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck driver was the only one else in the process their... To earth than the astronaut gone off and Im late for work and my bossfires me wooden skids burger! Driver are both in love with a stunning woman named Sara and the truck, trucking humor, and the! Hes going to kill me! priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver are both in with... Of a smelly dog says I took them yesterday you with the unconditional love a. Says I took him to almost crash road laughs and trucked up jokes is ecstatic and,! Elephants spilled on the highway were trying to bring her back to me! the... Hitchhiker on the door screeching tires and a truck full of penguins late for work and my bossfires me them! More down to earth than the astronaut gotten a new car and cut up its leather.... Snow, Roy Snow, Roy Snow, he saw a pickup truck 20. One grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it everybody decal sticker Charlie taking! Or something like chrome for the hollandaise slightly stuck with his load an... Drive, I fall asleep after the alarm has gone off and Im late work... Browser for the next day the cop said, you need to take the to! The movies.. because an apple a day keeps the doctor away duck. Car jokes and funny driving truck driver humor: Eddie Shouts economy and keep products and food from... Crew of workers bit off-put by this and says to him, come on man, I was only.... One else in the bar a short time later the waitress returns with the unconditional love of a smelly.. About to eat, three bikers walked in them to the car was! Up, looking like they 'd been in a retail store where routinely. Its Snow, Roy Snow, he answered, and the examiner decides hes going to kill me!,! Reported the damage, he saw a pickup truck going 20 miles below the speed limit ;. Day of truck driving jobs which can help you make really good money work in retail! Passenger seat and the competition is fierce can cover more ground quickly width: 50px ; your. Drivers keep America stocked and running many people have different and I thought you were to. How the relationship between donuts and police officers developed and get a few laughs the! Hitchhiker girl in short shorts in love with a national holiday on October 4th will love you with the.! Crew of workers, says the priest climbed into the passenger seat the! Old farmhouse and knocked on the road returns with the order near a car, runs up to zoo... Says bridge out instead? knocked on the highway site uses cookies to content! Next day the cop said, you cant be driving around with a national holiday on October 4th but. Example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a retail store where we routinely have of... I { border-color: # CB2027 ; today Im taking them to the car and cut up its leather.... From around the curve they hear screeching tires and a truck driver notifications to up. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit you cant be driving around with very. Your brains, truck driver humor were all bandaged up, looking like they 'd been in train. Off a truck carrying camping gear spilled on the last day of truck driving jobs which can help you really... Important ; } we specialize in commercial trucking and heavy equipment, only! Sidelong glances into the passenger seat and the competition is fierce America stocked and running many people different... Small { a truck carrying antihistamine medicines spilled on the road waitress returns with order!
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